The Freak Out!

October 15, 2017

I had a freak out. I do not mean like I worried about what this was going to be like with the life change. I mean I literally could not quite take a deep breath freaked out. We have been planning, downsizing and working towards this for a long time, but the day was here. It was Monday September 11th around 11am. We were in the van driving to pick up our RV. The house was not closed on yet, and we were going to pick up a new home. 


It was one of those moments where I did not believe we were going to do this. We actually were picking up an RV we planned on living in. The “normal” life that we have always lived was truly going to stay behind us. This was actually happening. The planning was over. (she was hyper ventilating, literal)


I would love to pretend that this was the best moment, and that I never doubted it for a second we were doing the right thing. That was the feeling I had the day I married Scott, but not today! All the warnings, scared people, and doubters came right to the surface. Maybe they were right. Maybe we are the craziest people in the world. Maybe this is not the right choice. This could be the worst mistake of our lives. 


It was as if I could not breathe. I kept feeling like I had a weight on my chest. I called my dad. (In moments like this I am not a factor, and I am thankful for Mike's calm demeanor.) He always calms me down. He reminded me to say a prayer, and to take a few breathes. I still worried about this for a while. The drive was the longest drive of my life. My mind and I had about 43,812 conversations going back and forth if we were doing the right thing. Poor Scott had to keep talking me of the ledge. 


Then we arrived. We signed the paperwork and waited for the keys. Once we were given the keys it was like the adventure began. We jumped in the RV, and I nervously followed Scott home in the van. (The drive home is where I freaked out!) Malachi HATED that he did not get to ride in the “truck” as he called it. 


Once we were at the house we immediately started moving some things in. This was REAL. This was actually how we are going to live. It was so exciting. This was not a pipe dream we were going to do “someday” it was “TODAY!”


Thinking this would be the easiest part of the journey was my own ignorance. This was a big day. The life changing event was not small. This was LIFE CHANGING. Sometimes I need to take a few minutes to remember that. Even though we have prayed, talked, and worked through this together it was still against everything we have ever known. It was an amazing day. It was a terrifying day, and it was a day I will never forget. I will never forget the moments leading up to picking up the RV, an the moments we starting making it our own. It makes me so glad we are chronicling these adventures to always remind myself how lucky we are to have these life changing moments. 


ORANGE LETTERS/ITALICS = Interruptions by Scott 

PURPLE LETTERS/ITALICS = Interruptions by Bethany



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